


Secret Poems

by TheNumber1Hero



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Depression, Gen, Isolation, Love Poems, M/M, Poems, Post SBURB, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-04 01:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1761365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNumber1Hero/pseuds/TheNumber1Hero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Depression could have hit anyone after beating the horrors of Sburb. Surprisingly though, none of the eight human friends seem to be affected by the mental disorder they were sure to have. At least that's what it seemed like at first glance. At first no one noticed their friend Dave slowly slipping into his own tortured reality. He tried to hide his downward spiral but there isn't much you can hide from a certain prying blonde. </p>
<p>All too soon Rose Lalonde had everyone gathered at their suffering friend's apartment and it was only a matter of time before they discovered the teens coping mechanism. It made since that a wrapper would write his troubles out as poems.... The neat walls of text couldn't hide the word's meanings however. They were a false since a security compared to the contents. </p>
<p>All the seven friends soon realized just how many horrors were crammed in their friend's head. Having to watch your friends die, sometimes by your own hand, in so many timelines could definitely push anyone into the downward spiral of depression.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. (Prologue) Secrets Found

**Author's Note:**

> Recently I've had a huge burst of inspiration that ended up having me write a whole bunch of poems from Dave's point of view. However, after realizing I had no use form them I set to work brainstorming away around this development. Which, eventually, resulted in this this six chapter fanfic you're about to read. 
> 
> The story in mainly based off a headcanon of mine where the kids eventually beat the game and return everything back to normal at the expense of only them remembering the events of Sburb. With all he timelines jammed in Dave's head and guilt he probably feels on top of that,I thought he would be the type of person who rights it all down as a way of venting. 
> 
> (As of the posting of this story on here, I'm no longer apart of the Homestuck fandom. Despite this however, I decided to still share this story with everyone on this lovely website. Please don't ask me any Homestuck related questions as I've severely forgotten most of the plot after this story was completed awhile ago. Please however do enjoy this story as I did write it for people's enjoyment.)

John looked at Jade and Rose before knocking on the Strider apartment door. A thud and soft footsteps were heard before the door opened to reveal a familiar face. Dirk raised an eyebrow and then opened the door wider so that he trio could get in. Once they entered he turned around and put a finger to his lips before tiptoeing past the sofa that cradled a snoring Dave.

John, Jade and Rose quietly followed the Heart player to Dave's room and sat down on the surprisingly clean floor. Once everyone was inside the room, Dirk closed the bedroom door and also sat down. John cleared his throat then spoke.

"How has he been?" The question sounded caring and concerned.

Dirk sighed, "He's gotten worse. He just fell asleep for the first time in about two days."

"Those alternate timelines hit him pretty hard didn't they," Jade asked with the usual enthusiasm missing from her voice. Rose nodded and didn't say a word; she instead seemed to be calculating every inch of the room.

"What do you think we should do?" John asked Dirk. The older brother of their Time Player shrugged. The silence that had settled was broken by the only blonde girl in the room. Ignoring her friends' questioning stares, the Light Player slowly walked over to the bed and kneeled to peer under it. Her eyes soon lit up with amusement as she reached under her depressed friend's bed, and when she rose, revealed a stack of papers which had Dave's handwriting on them. Bringing them back, she placed them on the ground in the middle of all her friends.

At first no one moved despite hat fact that it was obvious how much the pages needed to be read. No one knew if they were ready to hear what horrors their friend had seen and tried so hard to pretend didn't exists or bother him. Dave had tried to be so strong but the things written on these pages had eventually caught up to him. No one seemed to want to know what had that much strength over their strongest friend. Though eventually one of them gave in. John Reached forward into the pile and pulled out a poem he was prepared to read. With a sigh he did just that as he began to read his friends writings in the calmest tone he could manage...

* * *

_"SBURB_   
_Their souls are all dead._   
_Three are left sad._   
_Hearts hurting and broken,_   
_Their lives seemingly gone,_   
_They feel alone._   
_As they remember waterfalls of trickling blood._   
_Sitting in the mailbox waiting for blood,_   
_Waiting for payers to end up dead,_   
_Thousands played whether together or alone._   
_They watched very sad._   
_Earth was gone._   
_It was broken._   
_The game was almost broken._   
_It would have if it weren't for blood._   
_She was gone._   
_She was dead._   
_She woke up glad she wasn't alone._   
_He was alone._   
_Hiding behind shades while broken,_   
_Watching time flow while trying not to look sad,_   
_Seeing his bro's blood,_   
_And seeing him lie dead,_   
_Wishing hope wasn't gone._   
_She was already gone._   
_Before it even started she was alone._   
_Her dream self dead,_   
_She was broken._   
_As she saw many colors of blood,_   
_It was pretty yet sad._   
_He couldn't be sad._   
_He couldn't be gone._   
_He also saw blood,_   
_But he knew he wasn't alone._   
_He couldn't be broken._   
_He had to give a goofy smile even though they seemed dead._   
_He could not be sad as he tried to help his friends feel not alone._   
_He smiled and tried to cheer them up even though they were gone and felt broken._   
_He still was there for them even after seeing the blood of the dead."_

* * *

 After John was done the kids looked at each other.

"They're doomed timelines," Rose simply stated.

"And they're poems," Jade added in a small voice. Dirk and John both nodded softly in understanding. The exchange was silent but the four teens knew exactly what they were all going to do.

Jade looked at the stack and picked up another one... 


	2. Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some heartbreaking poems are read that give just a glimpse at how many deaths Dave must have seen. Along with a confession of true feelings both in though and in paper this chapter as more for the kids than they thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((So for those of you who can't quite figure out how each charcter died in their respective poems, I'm going to start posting that here in the notes. However! BE BE WARNED! The following states how each character died and CAN get PRETTY GRAPHIC! Reader caution is ADVISED!))
> 
> Death Records:  
> Jade Harley - Died saving Dave in a heroic way so she wasn't reborn.  
> Dirk Strider - Dies in Battle  
> Rose Lalonde - Unknown

After John was done the kids looked at each other.

"They're doomed timelines," Rose simply stated.

"And they're poems," Jade added in a small voice. Dirk and John both nodded softly in in understanding. The exchange was silent but the four teens knew exactly what they were all going to do.

Jade looked at the stack and picked up another one. The poem she happened to pick up was an acrostic about her. She stared at the title for a couple second before she began to read aloud...

* * *

" **Jade Harley  
** **J** ade, for being the sister of the biggest dork in the SBURB game, you're actually pretty cool.  
 **A** fter all, I thought since you're technically him as a girl, his stupidity would have also infected you.  
 **D** efinitely against the odds, you're not and I'm glad.  
 **E** verybody knows we don't need another Egbert.

 **H** arley, I'm glad you're one of my co-players.  
 **A** nyone else would have been gone faster than you could have said "space".  
 **R** eally, I'm serious. There is no space player greater than you.  
 **L** ife is worth something when you tease me about kissing frogs.  
 **E** arlier I wouldn't have said any of this but…  
 **Y** ou can't die. Promise? I don't care if saving me was considered heroic. I'm the knight and I protect. Why can't fairytales let the witches be saved for once? I can't live without you!"

* * *

A small tear ran down Jade's cheek as she finished reading the last line. She wondered what had happened in that time line. She wondered how she had died. What in the world was replaying it's self in their dear friend's head?

Rose looked at Jade, concerned about the small tears running down her cheeks. She gave an encouraging smile to her friend before she picked up her own page. The Light player then slowly began to read…

* * *

" **Rose Lalonde**  
 **R** ose, you're a great seer but you're annoying.  
 **O** f all the blondes I could have had as a sister, I got you.  
 **S** orry for being blunt about it but your "tentacle therapy" gets on my nerves.  
 **E** verybody aggress that you sometimes stick your nose too far into things that are meant to be private.

 **L** ife is full of problems. I get that. That doesn't mean you need to know about all of them though.  
 **A** fter this game is over I hope to never hear one of your "suggestions" again.  
 **L** ucky for you that probably won't happen.  
 **O** ddly, I know you'll somehow find me again.  
 **N** o one can read me like a book but you.  
 **D** esperate, I tend to hide emotions behind my shades.  
 **E** very time I do this though, you silently come to my side and help me through my troubles."

* * *

Once she was done Rose softly smiled. "

So he appreciates me after all," the seer said as she looked up at her friends. She was trying to lighten the mood in her sarcastic way but it didn't have the effect that she had hoped for. Rose turned to Dirk and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Your turn," was her soft input. He looked at the stack and let out a sigh. He then reached into the pile and pulled out a page that happened to have his name on it. Dirk hesitated.

He had heard about the bro Dave had before him. He had heard that this "bro" supposedly acted, looked, and thought just like him. He didn't want to read what Dave had written. He didn't want to read this poem that happened to have his name as the title.

He didn't want to but his friends were waiting. They had all read one so he was going to do it too. After all, Striders were no chickens. With another sigh the prince began to read his page…

* * *

" **Dirk Strider**  
 **D** irk, I think you're strange.  
 **I** normally would apologize but I'm sorry for being blunt about it. Though, who in the universe watches My Little Pony while riding one of those metal horses that take pennies to ride?  
 **R** eally, I can't think of anyone.  
 **K** eeping to my poem, I would like to say I want to beat you up sometimes.

 **S** adly I can't because everyone says you're vital to the game.  
 **T** ruth is you're actually a great bro despite what I say.  
 **R** eally, I'm glad I could finally get my bro back even though you don't remember me.  
 **I** 'm glad I have you and Rose. This game can get pretty bad sometimes with all the paradoxes and doomed timelines.  
 **D** eath is never something anyone wants to see so listen to me and stay conscious.  
 **E** very time I get something back this damn game, it always gets taken away again.  
 **R** eally bro, it isn't cool. I just got you back so don't die now!"

* * *

Dirk slowly placed the poem on the ground. His emotionless mask had broken for the time being as you tried not to cry. Striders don't cry but as of right now you were almost breaking that rule. Dave, your bro, has been through a lot and you haven't been there to help him as much as you should be.

I mean sure, you have been helping him now but that didn't start till you began noticing his depression. He kept it so well hidden for a while. You have no idea when it even started but you guessed it got to the point that hiding it wouldn't work.

You remember when you had finally gotten on that meteor.

You remember meeting Rose and her calling down the hall for someone named Dave.

You remember thinking that person's name sounded very familiar but you couldn't quite place where you had heard it.

You remember him walking into the room and his cool facade falling.

You remember him running up and holding you in a tight hug.

You remember him whispering in your ear, "I know you don't remember me and I know you aren't him. But let me hug you and pretend you're him for just one second."

You remember feeling awkward at first in that tight hug but soon relaxing as it just seemed to feel 'right.'

Though most of all, you remember being bros with the best person you could ever have as family.

John coughed and you were pulled out of your thoughts. Quickly you put back up your cool facade and nodded at him to pick up another poem. The heir looked at the ominous stack before he picked up another page and began reading…


	3. Crying Doesn't Always Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roxy, Jane, and Jake arrive this chapter. Despite being a little late to the meet-up, the three friends are just as concerned as everyone else. As the kids read more of the poems their suffering friend had written, they get a deeper glance into jut how many timelines ended with rivers of red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are very much welcomed for this story. I'm always going back and editing old stories of mine when I find things that are off. All reviews help me greatly in this process.
> 
> ((So for those of you who can't quite figure out how each charcter died in their respective poems, I'm going to start posting that here in the notes. However! BE BE WARNED! The following states how each character died and CAN get PRETTY GRAPHIC! Reader caution is ADVISED!))
> 
> Records of Death:  
> Jane Crocker - Her coping mechanism was baking sweets but when food supplies ran low she had no way to cope and committed suicide. It was done by stabbing herself repeatedly with a sharp kitchen knife. This doomed the timeline from a lack of a 'Life' player to heal the other players. 
> 
> Roxy Lalonde - Died from an alcohol poisoning caused by her addiction to the substance. The binge was triggered by severe depression.

John coughed and you were pulled out of your thoughts. Quickly you put back up your cool facade and nodded at him to pick up another poem.

The heir looked at the ominous stack before he picked up another page and began reading.

**_"Knock! Knock!"_ **

Just as John opened his mouth two loud knocks resounded through the apartment. Dirk quickly shot up and rushed out of his bro's room to get the door before Dave woke up.

John put the poem back on the stack incase his best friend did happen to wake up from his slumber and walk into his room. Rose glanced at Jade who raised an eyebrow and shrugged. John knew what they were wondering because he had the same question running through his head.

_'Who was at the door?'_

Soon footsteps where heard heading to Dave's room. Quiet whispering that sounded a lot like bickering was heard outside the door before it was opened. Dirk walked in followed by three of their other friends.

Jake walked in behind Dirk and sat down next to Jade giving her a huge grin. John noticed the bickering was coming from Jane and Roxy. It was a debate about mustaches on men. Roxy thought they looked ugly while Jane thought it made guys look 'handsome'.

Dirk coughed and brought the attention of the two friends back into reality. Jane blushed and quickly sat down between John and Rose while Roxy took a seat between Rose and Dirk.

"What are y'all doin'," Roxy asked in a curious drawl. Everyone tried not to act surprised at Roxy's less than drunk appearance. She had turned more heavily on her bad habits since beating Sburb so her lock of slur seemed to catch her friends off guard. Jade was the first to get over everyone's shock due to the sober Roxy and decidedly answered the girl's question.

Glancing down at the poems, she tried not to cry. "We're reading these poems that Dave has written. They're about alternate time lines but a lot of them include people dying. "

"Oh," Jane said with concern. Obviously, she was a little lost for words. Jake, for once, sensed the mood and patted his grandmother on the back.

"Would any of you care to read the next one," Rose asked while taking the poem that John had set down. Her question was directed at their friends who had just arrived.

"Oh… U-um, I'll read one," Jane offered as she reached out her hand for the paper. Rose handed it over with a half-smile. It was full of concern and Jane knew it all too well. She took a deep breath and then read the poem that was about her…

* * *

" **Jane Crocker**  
 **J** ane, you're a nice girl and all but you bake way too much.  
 **A** fter you finish a cake, more batter seems to appear out of nowhere.  
 **N** ow I see why John hates cake so much.  
 **E** ven I can agree that it gets extremely repulsive after a while.

 **C** an't you see that cake doesn't always make people happy?  
 **R** eally, cake won't make us all stop hurting. It won't make us win.  
 **O** bviously you can see that, right?  
 **C** an you even bake anything not using sugar?  
 **K** nowing you, that's probably a 'no.'  
 **E** verybody knows you do it because you hurt.  
 **R** ight….. So dying seemed like the best option?"

* * *

Jane put down the poem when she was done. She covered her mouth with her hand and tried to suppress her sobs. What had she done to Dave in that time line? It started out with teasing but by the end it sounded regretful and dark, very, very dark.

John quickly hugged her and rubbed her back. Jane had always been the one to break down the quickest. They all felt guilty when they read the poems based off them. John shooshed his grandmother and patted her back. Karkat had taught him his methods on calming people down along with everyone else. He skipped on teaching Dave as he said something about Dave being a butt. Yeah, he had a cussing jar at the time…..

When she had seemingly calmed down Roxy spoke up.

"Wow… I guess I'm going now," the Void Player said trying to ease the tension in the room. Roxy picked up the next poem in the stack and started to read…

* * *

" **Roxy Lalonde**  
 **R** oxy, I'm taking this away for your own good.  
 **O** bviously you were never told that under-age drinking is not how you should spend your free time.  
 **X** is going to be the only thing I put on your grave when you die from alcohol poisoning.  
 **Y** es, don't think I won't do it. It will read "Here lays X. Her name isn't important because she was a worthless drunk."

 **L** ovely, isn't it, the thought of dying?  
 **A** fter I'm gone I wonder what will happen.  
 **L** et's face it, I don't do anything but doom timelines.  
 **O** h really? You can't expect me to expect anyone to care if I just left.  
 **N** o one would need me right?  
 **D** efinitely, they would go on with their lives like normal.  
 **E** verybody did that for you…"

* * *

Roxy blinked in surprise and placed the letter down slowly. She wasn't going to cry like Jane but she definitely did feel something break when she finished the poem. How had Dave been able to hide this stuff for so long? None of them had noticed his depression for months. At least not until it become too much for him to handle…. She nodded at Jake before looking down.

Jake glanced around the circle of his friends. His normally happy radiance was gone and replaced with a calm seriousness. "Here I go," the adventurer said with a false sense of hope in his voice. It was sort of ironic because he knew that none of these poems were going to be happy. If they were, Dave wouldn't have hidden them or kept them unknown to his friends.

He gave a smile to the group before he started to read his poem…


	4. There Are Better People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More poems are read and some new light is shone on a seemingly bitter relationship. Despite the knew knowledge these friends are all going there is still more to be read. They just hope they can get through it all before their friend Dave Wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((So for those of you who can't quite figure out how each charcter died in their respective poems, I'm going to start posting that here in the notes. However! BE BE WARNED! The following states how each character died and CAN get PRETTY GRAPHIC! Reader caution is ADVISED!))
> 
> Death Records:  
> Karkat Vantas - Died in a battle protecting everyone in which he succeded at the cost of his life.   
> Jake English - Dies in denial of being in a doomed timeline.

Jake glanced around the circle of his friends. His normally happy radiance was gone and replaced with a calm seriousness.

"Here I go," the adventurer said with a false sense of hope in his voice. It was sort of ironic because he knew that none of these poems were going to be happy. If they were, Dave wouldn't have hidden them or kept them unknown to his friends.

He gave a smile to the group before he started to read his poem…

* * *

" **Jake English**   
**J** ake, you're a weird kid.   
**A** ll the time I can hear you talking about adventures and James Bond.   
**K** eep thinking this game is an adventure and you're going to find your time very short.   
**E** ventually you're going to realize that this game is a nightmare and not a fantasy.

**E** ven you should be able to see that.   
**N** othing we do could help our situation.   
**G** lancing around, I know this is a doomed timeline.   
**L** ife is short so I try to deal with it.   
**I** 'm sure you can see that there is no hope at all.   
**S** o why do you think there is?   
**H** ope is just something humans hold onto so they don't feel bad. Why do you still have it Jake?"

* * *

Jake frowned after he finished reading his poem. What Dave wrote sure sounded like something he would do. He had a very hard time not finding hope in a situation. Sometimes he wished that he didn't find it so easy because sometimes he really did just want to give up. He could even find hope when there wasn't any. The example was written write here on this paper.

Hope was one of Jake's strengths because he had a hard time giving up. It was also a flaw though, as he never really could make out when there wasn't hope at all and he needed to give up. He would keep going till he either died or was forced to stop hoping.

Jake noticed Jade was looking at him with a concerned expression. After all, he hadn't set down the poem yet. It was still being gripped in his hands and rather tightly at that.

"Gee Jade, there is nothing to worry about. I'm positively fine," the islander said with his best smile though it wasn't a very good one.

Jade looked down after a moment and started to play with her hands. At that, Jake set down the paper and turned to Rose. It was her turn even though they were reading in a completely random order. You read if you were looked and nodded at by the last reader. At least, that was what Jake thought.

After he quickly nodded to his friend she picked up the next paper in the stack. This one happened to have a certain red blood troll's name on it. She sighed and looked at the group once more before reading what the poem had to say…

* * *

" **Karkat Vantas**   
**K** arkat, do you think this game is worth beating?   
**A** lternia sounds like a horrible place. Do you like it there?   
**R** eally, I get that it's your home but do you truly like it there?   
**K** illing each other for a passage to live really sounds like the Hunger Games if you ask me.   
**A** fter the game we probably won't see each other again.   
**T** ruly, you might like that but I have to admit that I wouldn't.

**V** aliantly you help anyone you can in a silent way.   
**A** ll of us can see that including me.   
**N** ot all the time do we see eye to eye but I have to admire you.   
**T** o tell you the truth I think you are, by far, a better knight.   
**A** ll I can do is watch as you sit there and silently support Terezi.   
**S** o why did you decide to die when we all care about you?"

* * *

Everyone was silent for a while after Rose finished reading Dave's poem about Karkat.

"So he didn't hate Karkat," John asked trying to break the silence and to lighten the mood a bit. It didn't seem to work however as no one replied.

Finally Roxy broke and downed the nearby glass of alcohol she had been try to ignore. The get together was far to sad and she couldn't handle sad very well when sober. No one ha time to stop her before the liquid was gone and a pink flush filled her face and she began to giggle.

"So wrat *what are we goring *going to do about Davey's detression *depression," she asked in the most serious tone she could pull off while drunk.

Everyone turned to Dirk as he had been living with their friend since the end of SBURB. Dirk's face remained expressionless even with the sudden attention. He shrugged and waited a moment before answering Roxy's question.

"I think we should read the rest of the poem's first before we decide anything," was his casual reply even though he was all torn up on the inside. Rose nodded before she added on.

"I agree with Dirk on that. Though, I'm rather impressed that he took to writing these poems on his own. That's what a lot of therapist suggest when someone has depression. It was very smart of him," Rose complemented. The whole group nodded in understanding. After all, there were only three poems left. They could survive reading three more. With a sigh Jade picked up the next poem and then read it out loud…


	5. People Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More poems are read and more deaths are revealed but someone is listening in this time. Little do the friends know that their friend who was sleeping as now woken up and is listening intently to their thoughts behind the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((So for those of you who can't quite figure out how each charcter died in their respective poems, I'm going to start posting that here in the notes. However! BE BE WARNED! The following states how each character died and CAN get PRETTY GRAPHIC! Reader caution is ADVISED!))
> 
> Death Records:  
> Terezi Pyrope- Committed Suicide by jumping in front of Jack.  
> John Egbert - Somehow survived most timelines and if not he died for a reason.

"I think we should read the rest of the poem's first before we decide anything," was his casual reply even though he was all torn up on the inside. Rose nodded before she added on.

"I agree with Dirk on that. Though, I'm rather impressed that he took to writing these poems on his own. That's what a lot of therapist suggest when someone has depression. It was very smart of him," Rose complemented. The whole group nodded in understanding. After all, there were only three poems left. They could survive reading three more. With a sigh Jade picked up the next poem and then read it out loud…

* * *

" **Terezi Pyrope**   
**T** erezi, I just have to say that you are one of a kind.   
**E** veryone knows you're feeling down but just look at all the friends you have.   
**R** eally, there is nothing to be afraid of.   
**E** specially since you knight is here.   
**Z** apping your energy by mopping around won't help.   
**I** 'm sure we'll be able to think of something.

**P** lease, will you at least smile for me?   
**Y** ou can do it. I know you can.   
**R** ight now, I didn't need that.   
**O** f all the things you could have helped with, you didn't.   
**P** lease. Did you really think that jumping in front of Jack was the answer?   
**E** verybody needed you and I needed you the most."

* * *

Jade set the poem down once she was done reading. She didn't know how much more of these poems she could take. Her heart cracked every time she heard another one and it was very close to shattering now. She didn't know what could have possibly gone on in Dave's head as he watched this timeline. Jade did remember at one point Dave was dating Terezi. So, in this timeline Terezi committed suicide?

Jade couldn't take this! She loved all her friends more than anything in the world and hearing these poems written by one of them was shredding her apart. She couldn't do this anymore but she had to. For her other friends she had to.

Jade looked next to her when she felt someone pat her back. It was Jake and he was giving her an encouraging smile. That was Jake for you. Always finding hope and trying to cheer people up even in the darkest situations. Just like what a page would do. Pages bring thing to people after all and Jake had the greatest ability of bringing hope to people. Jade loved that about him and it made her feel accomplished that an older version of herself raised him to be this way.

Unclenching her hands, Jade set the poem down and looked at John to read the next one. He saw the looked and slowly picked it up. Everyone noticed that there was only one more paper left in the stack. One more poem after John read the one in his hands. John took a deep breath to brace himself and then began to read…

* * *

" **John Egbert**   
**J** ohn you're a nerd but an awesome bro.   
**O** blivious to the world around you, you're always looking like a derp.   
**H** ow many times now have I saved you from your baking dad?   
**N** o one, not even Rose, will ever figure out how your strange mind works.

**E** very time I hear you state you're cooler than me I protest.   
**G** oogle even says you're not. Just look it up.   
**B** ut the truth is, you might be just a little cooler than me but only by a little.   
**E** ven though I know your probably jumping for joy right now, stop because I have a question.   
**R** ight now I wonder how you can smile after what's happened.   
**T** he game broke everyone but you. Why?"

* * *

John was speechless as he finished reading. He wasn't the only one either, everyone was. What had possibly happened in this timeline? All of the kids in their friend's room pondered the same thing. No one was upset though, as the poem was slightly happier than what that had been reading. Though, it still had a dark ending.

The Heir set down the paper and looked at his friends before reaching for the last poem. No one protested so John picked it up slowly till it was close enough to his face to be readable. He looked at his friends one last time with a sad expression before reading the poem…

* * *

" **Dave Strider**   
**D** amn, I'm such an idiot.   
**A** ll I had to do was save them.   
**V** aliantly they died.   
**E** veryone but me.

**S** adly I watched them all fall one by one.   
**T** hrough the timelines in my head.   
**R** eally, it wasn't my fault?   
**I** 'm really sure it was.   
**D** amn, Knight of Time they called me.   
**E** ven though I couldn't protect them.   
**R** eally, what kind of Knight lets something like this happen?"

* * *

Everyone in the room stayed silent once John was done. So that was it? Was it really time to make a decision? Was there anything they even could do in a situation like this? Dave obviously couldn't deal with his depression alone but an actual therapist was out of the question. None but them knew the events of Sburb and if Dave even uttered part of their story he'd definitely get locked up in a hospital. Plus after reading all their friends rants they all wondered if he still had timelines swimming through his head. By the way he wrote they wondered if his gift to see time streams hadn't gone away after the game. 

No one spoke, as no one had answers to any of their shared questions. Maybe that's why it was so easy to hear a faint squick that came from the door to their friends room. The small creak could only have been caused by one thing, someone had leaned too hard against door and there was only one person that 'someone' could be. Their friend had started listening to their conversation, at what point had he started, none of the friends knew. 

Dirk stood up softly and slowly edged his way to the door. Once he was close enough he flung it open and there standing in front of the door was a tired looking Dave.

"So you found them? I have to give you all kudos for that. You all have a nice feelings jam without me? They were my poems after all," Dave was using sarcasm and a joking tone but his friends could tell his true feelings from a mile away. Dave was embarrassed and a tad annoyed that they had read them. He was embarrassed for being that he was depressed and annoyed at his privacy being invaded while sleeping.

No one said anything due to the shock his harsh words. Jade however, was the first one to break. She shot up out of her sitting position and stomped over to Dave. She quickly raised her hand and slapped him hard on the face. Just as quickly as she had done it Dave's hand was rubbing his face and her hand was back to her side. Everyone stayed silent as Dave seemed to glare behind his shades and Jade just glared back. Moments later,the Witch of Space once again broke the silence first.

"You idiot! Do you know how much you have worried me these past months? Do you know how much all of us have worried about you?! I had to get a plane ride off my island with Jake so that we could see your brother and talk about what we were going to do with you! You Dave, ARE NOT INVINCIBLE! SOMETIMES you NEED to get help and that's what friends are for! Now, DON'T go saying you can handle it because Dave, obviously you CAN'T!" Jade finished with a huff before sitting back down, arms crossed and facing away from the door.

Dave stood speechless at the door gazing at all the worried faces (minus Jade's hidden one) staring back at him. He stopped rubbing his sore cheek and walked over to his friends. He picked up each poem with ease and placed them all on the dresser before sitting down, though not without a quick glance to the bed. Rose raised an eyebrow at this but no one else seemed to see the exchange.

"I'm sorry. I've been selfish lately guys. I made you all worry but those poems weren't meant for your eyes. I wrote every so often after the game and they were stuffed under my bed because I know if you all found them you would all be upset. Yes, I've been depressed lately but I'm going to be fine. I'm just having a bit of trouble. I still have timelines running through my head. Whenever I see one of you, I can instantly see a million different endings to your life. Some of them we are still in Sburb  some of them we aren't but I still see them." Dave paused as he if he was thinking about something and then continued.

"All I need right now is for you guys to be happy. You weren't meant to see these poems because I knew you all wouldn't be happy. As long as you stay cheery I can forget about life ending and focus on the now." He gave them all, his famous smirk and they all seemed to let out a relieve sigh. If Dave was giving them that smirk they knew he was going to get better. He just needed a little help from all of them. John grinned and grabbed onto Dave, giving him a hug, before he could get away.

"Come on Egderp. Let go. Hugs are so uncool," Dave said trying to squirm away. Soon Jake joined in on the hug with a smile. Jane and Roxy grinned at each other and then rapped their arms around the boys. Rose gave Dirk a look that said 'you better do this' before they both joined in. Then Jade turned around smiling at the scene.

"Jade, please help," Dave pleaded but still managing to sound cool while doing so. Jade just shook her head and rapped her arms around the huddle of buddies. Soon they were all laughing and Dave couldn't help but join in.

Yeah, he would get better. He would get better with the help of his amazing friends. Dave had no doubt about that.


	6. Under The Bed (Bonus Chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Under the bed, Rose finds one last poem. Though it isn't about what she thought it would be. Boys can just be so dumb about love but for some reason she expected more from Dave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Bonus chapter for all those HammerTime shippers. This can be ignored completely from the plot or can be considered the actual ending, it's up to you the reader. Sadly though, this is the final chapter of Secret Poems. Please remember to drop a review so I can continue improving this story. Thank you so much for reading it and I hoped you loved it just as much asI had fun writing it.

Hours after the giant group hug that had ended, with Dave being almost suffocated none the less, every one of his friends had eventually parted ways from the Strider apartment. Everyone except Rose Lalonde.

After seeing Dave's short exchange towards his bed earlier, Rose had gotten curious. She had purposely left her jacket in Dave so she could go get it later. That was what she was doing now in fact. 

She gingerly opened the door and closed it slightly behind her as she walked in. Upon entering the room she quickly scooped up hr purple jacket but didn't leave right after that. Instead, she got on her knees in front of Dave's bed and pulled out one lone paper.

It looked old and dirty. There where grey dirt smudges here and there and dust seemed to cling to it. Rose briefly wondered if he had wrote this in the medium but dismiss the idea since it was an unimportant piece of information.

She stood up and quickly began to silently read it's contents to herself…

* * *

"Red and Blue

My eyes are red,   
Your eyes are blue,   
I know I love you because you love me too.

Prospit is yellow,   
Derse is purple,   
Why don't we become god tiered together?

You are the Breath,   
I am the Time,   
I'll hold you close and tell you you're fine.

You have the wind,   
I have the clocks,   
Our love is held by the strongest of locks.

You are the Heir,  
I am the Knight,   
I'll help you through all your hard times.

You are the shade,   
I am the heat,   
Let's stick together so we won't get beat.

You have a hammer,   
I have a sword,   
No one but us will have the last word.

You have your movies,   
I have my irony,   
Seeing your face makes me so very happy.

You have your smile,   
I have my cool,   
With those I know we'll surpass all these fools.

My eyes are red,   
Your eyes are blue,   
I know I love you because you love me too."

* * *

Rose smirked as she finished reading the paper. She knew that there was something between her two friends but she hadn't quite defined what it was until now. By the way John acted she could guess that Dave hadn't told him anything about this poem let alone told him about his feelings. Maybe she could change that? Rose was about to pocket the letter when her blonde brother opened the door.

"Rose, what are you doing with that," Dave asked. His shades were off so Rose could clearly see his candy red eyes. Rose briefly remembered how much their color captivated her and if John knew of their color.

Dave seemed to always wear his shades when around his friends. He didn't seem to wear them when he was around her or Dirk though and Rose could never figure out why.

"I was merely reading this last poem." Rose said this with no expressionless as ever.  Over the years getting to know Dave, Rose had picked up the strange ability to seem emotionless when you really weren't. Though that didn't stop Dave from holding out his hand, presumably as a demand for Rose to hand back his oldest poem. 

"That's not for you Rose. Hand it over. No one, not even John, was meant to see that letter," Dave  said as he gave her a stern stare. Dave momentarily got one in return before it disappeared into a look of understanding. His eyes were narrowed in suspicion but morphed into confusion as she held out the paper her brother wanted. Dave took it, still slightly confused and Rose took this moment to briefly speak her mind. 

"Alright Dave, I won't tell anyone about this, but someday you should. You can't possibly know his feelings until he knows yours." With that Rose pushed past Dave and left the Strider apartment, only stopping briefly to give a quick goodbye to Dirk. 

Dave looked calculatingly at the poem before walking to his computer. He promptly opened Pesterchum to see that John was online before he clicked his friend's handle. Un-folding the letter he began to type the words he had written both long and not so long ago. By the end of the night two stupid teens had figured out just how stupid they were. That night two boys fell in love after years of waiting for the other.


End file.
